Babesiosis gets the best of me today..
As I sit here today with tears slowly falling off my cheeks, I wonder is this ever going to end? Will I ever get better? My intracranial pressure is elevated in my head today and the pain is so bad. This is from the babesiosis that has invaded my brain and caused swelling. My head feels so heavy, like a bowling ball that is balancing on my shoulders. I can hear my heart beat in my right ear; this is how I know for sure that my pressure is up. I sit and wonder what I did wrong. Did I eat the wrong food? Is it the new amount of Antibiotic? Am I herxing?
This is not one of my best days. Along with the head pressure, my stomach is a mess. As I’m increasing the Amoxicillin and Zithromax, I develop this horrible, sour, taste in my mouth. It’s hard for me to drink, and I’m losing interest in food. I feel dehydrated. I feel nauseated. This is when I have a hard time staying positive. I give in to the negativity, curl up in a hopeless ball, and cry painful tears.
I find I pray a lot during times like these when I’m discouraged and feel defeated. I ask for help from anyone: Angels, God, my loved ones that have passed. I have found comfort in the birds that I have outside my living room window where my husband has hung some feeders. I can see them from the couch where I spend a lot of my time when I’m not feeling well. There’s two cardinals that visit daily and a male and female blue jay and it made me smile the day I read this:
“Your Loved Ones can work with those in the animal world to send you a sign of their presence by getting a cardinal, a blue jay, or a large hawk to act abnormally in your presence for just long enough to get your attention.” Amanda Linette Meder
I have to remind myself that these times of distress & depression do pass. I will somehow get through this, one breathe, one moment, and one day at a time.
I want to say thank you for my followers that have decided to jump into this Lyme journey with me and stick it out, hearing the good, the bad, and the ugly. I find myself cherishing the moments of laughter and smiles, and I promise to share those moments with you too.
Hope you’re all having a day filled with peace & laughter…
Hugs, Lisa xoxo
Lisa I loved your videos, I'm so sorry about your struggles, I will be praying for you. I recently had a case of pancreatitis when they did a cat scan they found another cyst on it. I am waiting for my next scan to see if it's growing. I am not in pain but I do have trouble finding foods I can eat. I know it's not the same as being in pain all the time. But I do worry, I give it all to the Lord and wait till the next day and try to enjoy the day I have.
ReplyDeleteHi Debra,
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your pancreatitis and the cyst. That's no fun and it must be a bit scary not knowing what's going on. As far as it not "being the same as being in pain everyday" it's still your struggle, your journey, and although a bit different, it's still something you're going through that is no fun. I've taken care of people in the hospital with acute cases of pancreatitis and they didn't feel well at all. It is a challenge to find out things that you can tolerate to eat. I know high protein is typically recommended but low dairy and low fat. Can you eat non-fat yogurt with berries? Lately what I've been putting in mine, is cherries. They must be in season here in Maine, because they're out on the shelves and they're so good. I just de-pit them, and throw them in my yogurt. Greek yogurt does has a lot of protein. Also, I've been eating lentil soup which is high in protein. I get an organic brand that is low in sodium and it's gluten free. I'm on a dairy free, gluten free & sugar free Lyme diet which is very challenging also. I find using the internet helps to find recipes.
Thank you for the reminder to give it to the Lord and to enjoy the day I have. It's hard sometimes for me to remember that when I feel so yucky, but it's very important. Please take care, and I'll pray for your cyst to remain the same and for you to feel better also.
Hugs, Lisa xoxo
Stay strong and focus! You can do this! Prayers coming your way! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
ReplyDeleteHi Juelmarie,
DeleteThank you so much for your support and prayers. I really, really appreciate it..I'm trying very hard to stay strong & focus. I agree with you, I think those things are immensely important in the healing process. I think on my not so good days, I need a bit more help with this for some reason..
Hugs, Lisa xoxo