Finding some beauty in Lyme..
Today is a new day. I want to make sure I grasp onto every tiny moment of joy or peace that is handed to me, and cherish it. Going through Lyme treatment is rough, and there doesn’t seem to be many of these instances. I woke up this morning and heard the birds singing; I mean really heard them singing. My body hurt, but for some reason the sounds I was hearing, made the pain seem so far away. I didn’t feel like crying, or curling up into a ball. I am so relieved, but refuse to question why.
It can feel like this disease is taking over my life, but I somehow, still find the beauty and splendor in what’s going on around me, some days more than others. Somedays, I don’t even realize I’m looking. Today, I’m watching the blue jays as they gulp the peanuts out of the feeding tray, I'm loving all the various birds that are visiting. I’m listening to the peaceful sounds of nature while having the windows open. It’s quiet, yet the birds singing makes it a musical quiet. I’m trying not to question why I’m not freaking out this morning. I’ve been praying every second, every minute. of every day, for this feeling. Even if it doesn’t last past the morning, I will still cherish it. I’m so thankful.
I had a dream the night before last, and in the dream someone was saying to me “what about your creativity?” Yea, what about my creativity? Since my diagnosis and the start of my treatment, I haven’t done any of my Youtube videos, my Scrapbooking room has been empty. I’ve had no interest, no motivation. I have continued to take pictures though. I’ve tried to be a bit creative in that respect. I want to preserve the memories. I take pictures of the birds that visit our feeders. Since the feeders are right outside our living room window where I can see them from where I sit on the couch, I can get up close & personal. I think having some type of creative outlet, even as small as taking a cool picture, is important in the healing process. Finding the beauty in life can be such a nice escape for us. Us; the ones with Lyme. We can really benefit by witnessing something beautiful..
Hugs, Lisa xoxo
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ReplyDeleteThe bird is called a rose breastfed gross beak. We had 3 about a month ago and then haven't seen them since.
ReplyDeleteHi Jill!
DeleteThe same thing happened to us. This little guy showed up one day out of the blue. I just happened to be looking out the window, and I had to look twice. His colors were so brilliant that I was like "am I seeing things?" He came two days in a row, ate like a little pig out of all of the feeders, and we never saw him again. I was bummed.
It's such a nice surprise to see your message. I think of you when I see my hummingbirds. I've missed communicating with you through my videos. I miss doing them, but just don't have the energy right now. I hope this message finds you well and thank you for visiting my blog..
Hugs, Lisa xoxo
Had surgery on my shoulder 2 days after Christmas. Suppose to be minor rotator cuff. Well of course I don't ever go the easy route and what turned out as minor , small ,turned out to be one small and one that was much larger . So I have 2 Anchors to pull the tear back together ,now embedded in the shoulder, !!! So with the plate in my neck and the rods in my back ,we are in holding pattern . My left and right hands go to sleep at night and it wakes me up. Have been doing that since the 2012 surgery on my back. Had the E.M.G test about a month ago, and it showed slight carpal tunnel. No surgery.But only in my right hand. I think I need a second opinion. The surgery on my shoulder is one of the roughest to come back from. I think I have said at least twice in this period that I wished it had been the back again instead of this. 6months to a year for recovery.Well on top of that mix my 91 year old mother - in-law is staying with us , she has vertigo and walks with a cane and is loosing her hearing and has the start of dementia. Both my father and father -in-law had Alzheimners, so it has been difficult dealing with both.
DeleteAfter your post about the lyme's disease and what you are experiencing with it, Pennslvania is one of the highest states with the disease. Except the only way to get diagnosed is to go someplace else. A friend of mine who is my son's age , early 40's , everyone in her family has it. The only way it was diagnosed is they finally did the DNA test for it and it came up positive. They still have to go out of the area, 2 to 3 hours away for treatment, of the lyme's and the illness it triggered including the 14 year old girl has cats fever from it. Her 11 year old son was diagnosed in maybe early October with a type of lymphoma in his eye. They go to a children's hospital for both kids in Philadelphia. Geisinger Medical Center is 20 minutes away from here and told them that they were to just watch his eye when they detected it. But wasn't the ones that tested for the cancer that it is. He has since had the treatments ,with no loss of sight and is doing good. The 14 year old girl is having a much harder time with it,because of her age and puberty. Has a lot of areas of her system firing at the same time. The mother knew right away what you were talking about, she had heard of that as being a side effect.
I hope for you that the warmer sun is going to help. I hate cold grey days and definitely notice a difference in what I can do and how I feel about life in general.The aching of the new hardware I carry in my body ,makes everything cold to touch and sends more aches thru the system. I am praying for you girl. I know a little of the fight that you put up with daily. At times I think my mind and body parts are fighting one another ,and the moody blues sometimes go on for days.Keep your strength up as much as you can.Easier said than done.
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DeleteJill, I'm sorry about your shoulder surgery. That sounds major. I can't imagine having all of that metal placed. You must have very limited range of motion. I agree, I think a second opinion is a good idea. It's always good to get another set of eyes.
DeleteGosh, having your Mother-in-Law living with you must be stressful? Especially with her Alzheimers. That must be really difficult.
That's awful that your friend's entire family has Lyme. I can't imagine that. It's so strange that all these states, and Canada, don't treat or recognize Lyme. It's no wonder there's so many sick people with Lyme that are left untreated..
I hope you're doing ok with all this rain..
Hugs, Lisa xoxo
Rain has ended. Now to the opposite side of the weather roller coaster , that is Pa. The saying here is ...if you don't like the weather wait an hour and you will have something else. So my Saturday and Sunday it is suppose to be in the low 90's with humidity. I dislike humidity. Hubby says he will be the A.C in !.
DeleteMy father and father -in-law both passed with Alzheimners. Doesn't look good for the possibility of Kevin or I getting past it , or our kids.
Hope you will feel better with better weather. Was wondering how it is going for you. Did the doctors give you any ideas what the long term will look like. I hope you are getting stronger even a little bit.
I know someone mentioned in some of your posts about sweet Polly being your side kick thru this. They do keep us going. I have an 11 year old cat that is definitely a cuddle bug. But she has been showing signs in the last couple of weeks of maybe hip issues. Her landing on her feet hasn't been too good. Of course as cats go she is very "I can do this" as they come. But there are definitely some issues. She can get up on something like my lap , but not so well getting down. Can't get her in to vet till next week. But I know her age is probley a contributing factor.Maybe with the warmer Temps and not so damp that will also help.
Hugs back atcha. Jill
Rain has ended. Now to the opposite side of the weather roller coaster , that is Pa. The saying here is ...if you don't like the weather wait an hour and you will have something else. So my Saturday and Sunday it is suppose to be in the low 90's with humidity. I dislike humidity. Hubby says he will be the A.C in !.
DeleteMy father and father -in-law both passed with Alzheimners. Doesn't look good for the possibility of Kevin or I getting past it , or our kids.
Hope you will feel better with better weather. Was wondering how it is going for you. Did the doctors give you any ideas what the long term will look like. I hope you are getting stronger even a little bit.
I know someone mentioned in some of your posts about sweet Polly being your side kick thru this. They do keep us going. I have an 11 year old cat that is definitely a cuddle bug. But she has been showing signs in the last couple of weeks of maybe hip issues. Her landing on her feet hasn't been too good. Of course as cats go she is very "I can do this" as they come. But there are definitely some issues. She can get up on something like my lap , but not so well getting down. Can't get her in to vet till next week. But I know her age is probley a contributing factor.Maybe with the warmer Temps and not so damp that will also help.
Hugs back atcha. Jill